If you are a parent, you’ve probably heard these words from your two year old. That’s about the time my oldest daughter began dressing herself; getting her own drinks and snacks; and handling all her business – all by herself.
I am not too willing to say she got that characteristic from MY side of the family let alone from ME directly. But, I will ‘fess up. I am pretty sure ALL four of my kids got my “I can do it MYSELF”.
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Our family is going through some stuff lately that makes me convinced God is bringing us to something A M A Z I N G. One thing is my poor baby car needs a new ignition. It’s in my driveway waiting to be towed to the repair shop. But, I just can’t do it yet.
It’s a little funny that the week before my ignition locked, I was thinking of putting one of our vehicles up for sale. I thought, ‘you know, we really probably don’t NEED three cars – we could cut back and sell one’. Then, ta-da. We only have two that function. No worries. We could make two cars work.
A few weeks passed and the big T started slipping in another vehicle. And, the last vehicle standing started sputtering and backfiring. Down to zero fully functioning vehicles. Here I go, doing my best to problem solve with extremely limited resources. I can’t figure any of it out.
Breaking point: Ever been there? Ever been in the position of having the shirt stuck on your head and you’re sitting on the floor screaming NO! Don’t help! I can do it MYSELF!!!! ?
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We made some adjustments. My son and I got a ride home across town from a friend who lived near softball practice. My son and I got a ride to and from another town for a concert from a friend who “was going that way already”. I don’t know about tomorrow. But, who really does?
I cannot tell you how many times I have been placed in a situation in which I can’t do it myself. From age two to forty-two (we’ll just say forty-two), I have been in one situation after another of having success then plummeting to the depths of helplessness. No situation has been so severe that I ever felt hopeless. I am eternally grateful for that. I am constantly reminded that things could always be worse. I am frequently shown that I need to be thankful for my burdens since I cannot carry those that belong to someone else.
My personal anguish about asking for help from a friend makes me nauseous. I still dread beyond dread to step out and ask, which is probably one reason why I still have to go through stuff like that. If it ever gets easy for me to receive help from anyone, I would be concerned.
If I could just remember how good it makes me feel when I help others, maybe that would relieve some of my anxiety. My need for help could actually bless someone else while their help blesses me. I found that to be true just yesterday. I didn’t realize how long it had been since I got to speak with my friend who was able to drive us last night. My anxiety over being super early to our event and making her stay later than she needed to was dispelled while we meandered through a park, talked together and shared updates of our lives. It was a blessing I hadn’t counted on.
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I still did it myself. I trusted. I allowed myself to be helped. It’s a big deal to me even though it was only a ride – it is a big deal. And with my friends, with grace, and a thankful heart I can feel like I overcame my I CAN DO IT MYSELF and move forward.
